Victims of Dating Violence

Introduction

In this modern age where dating violence is at an all-time high, our relationships are on a tightrope and love is unfortunately reduced to tragedies in today’s world where individualization is most 

What is Dating Violence?

A dating pattern is when one partner physically, emotionally, or sexually harms the other. These behaviors often include elements such as domination, self-centeredness, and manipulation of thoughts and attitudes.

 

 

 

Problems and Diseases Caused by Dating Violence

Research conducted on individuals exposed to dating violence shows that many psychological problems such as high rates of sef-blame, depression, eatingdisorders, suicidal thoughts and atempts, excessive anxiety, sleep problems, loss of sef- confidence and substance use occur.

History of Violence

Although dating violence has become more visible in the modern era, the history of violence dates back to ancient times. According to archaeological findings, women’s bones show more damage than men’s. Until the 1900s, women were frequently victims of domestic violence, and such behaviors were considered “private matters” and were ignored by society and governments.

History of Dating Manipulation

Ancient Times
( Power, Property and Strategic Marriages)

1.Dating was not for love, but for lineage, wealth and alliances.

2.Women were often objectified.

3.Cleopatra used her beauty and intelligence for political manipulation.

4.Love games and lies are common in ancient Greek tragedies.
Middle Ages

(Romantic Idealism and Passive Manipulation)

1.“Love is lived in the palace, bodies are married.”

2.Women express their feelings through metaphors and tests.

3.Men attract attention with heroism and jealousy.

4.Love letters and secret advertisements are common.

Victorian
(Repressed Emotions, Strategic Silence)

1.Women gain power through shyness and inaccessibility.

2.Men exert pressure through social and economic power.

3.Dating is subject to rules; indirect manipulation increases.

20th Century
(Commercialization of Romance and Psychological Manipulation)

1.Love is liberated, but expectations are shaped through the media.

2.From the 1950s on, a culture of “winning at love” spreads.

3.Roles are balanced as women gain economic power.

4.“Manipulative love” characters come to the fore in popular culture.

Today
(Micromanipulation in the Digital Age 2000–2020s)

1.Apps like Tinder and Bumble have introduced terms like ghosting and breadcrumbing.

2.Social media paves the way for manipulation with methods like jealousy and testing.

3.As roles become more equal, manipulation becomes more complex.

4.Psychological terms have become part of the dating language: narcissistic, toxic, gaslighting, etc.

Why Has Manipulation Increased Today?

1.Social media has become a powerful tool in perception management.

2.People can create an “ideal self” with virtual identities.

3.The desire for comparison, approval and admiration has increased.

4.Consumer culture constantly makes people feel “incomplete.”

5.Psychological information is now more widespread, but it can be misused.

6.It is very easy to access manipulation techniques on the internet.

What Manipulations Are Used in Dating Violence?

1.Love Bombing

The partner idealizes the other party with intense interest and affection at the beginning of the relationship. Over time, when they realize that they are not getting approval, they withdraw their interest and make their partner feel worthless. The aim is to have someone they can control absolutely.

2.Gaslighting

The partner tries to convince the other person that their suspicions are paranoia. This causes the person to doubt themselves and become dependent on the manipulator.

3.Ghosting

The partner disappears without giving any reason. When they return, the victimized partner feels worthless and quilty.

Types of Dating Violence

1.Physical Violence

It can lead to physical harm, threats, slapping, punching, and even killing.
→ 21.2% of participants have been subjected to physical violence at least once.

2.Sexual Violence

Forced termination of pregnancy, forced sexual intercourse, violation of privacy.
→ 77.6% of women and 57.3% of men have been subjected to sexual violence.

3.Psychological Violence

Insult, humiliation, control, social isolation, threats, interference with private information.
→ 70–90% of participants have been subjected to psychological violence.

4.Economic Violence

Preventing work, confiscating earnings, applying financial pressure.
→ It is usually more common in married couples.

5.Cyber ​​Violence

Pressure, threats, forced password requests, violation of privacy on social media.
→ 62.5% of participants have been victims of cyber violence.

How Can Dating Violence Be Prevented?

First of all, as with everything else, it is necessary to get rid of information pollution. The first step would be to learn about this kind of violence in depth and observe your partners. Research has shown that dating violence is also used as a tool by partners to solve other problems in relationships. It is important to accept and move on: this violence is negative, damaging and unethical behavior. Absolutely no effort should be made to rectify the situation. Because if you attempt to correct the situation, you will be doing what the perpetrator of the violence wants. If you are subjected to this kind of violence, you should stop communication and take legal action.

 

Which Gender Manipulates More in Modern Society?

What Does the Research Say?

– Women, in general, are more likely to use emotional manipulation (guilt-tripping, attention-seeking games, passive aggression).

– Men, on the other hand, use more violence in dominant manipulation types such as authority building, gaslighting, controlling

2022 According to Psychology Today Article:

52% of women and 41% of men admit to having used “emotional manipulation” on their partner at least once.

2021 Journal of Interpersonal Violence study:

35% of men and 29% of women report having practiced “gaslighting” or attempted mental control over their partner in a romantic relationship.

 

Transmission of Relationship Manipulation to Future Generations

Children learn their first relationship experiences from their parents,. Children who grow up in a manipulative environment continue the same behavior patterns. You can find more information in this article https://xyjourney.com/traumatized-parents-raised-by-parents/

1. Attachment Problem

Inconsistent relationships lead to avoidant, anxious or complex attachment styles.

2. Love – Control Confusion

Toxic patterns such as “If he is jealous, he loves her” are internalized.

3. Intergenerational Transfer of Trauma

Behaviors are not genetic, but learned.

For example; a mother who is constantly blamed applies this language to her child.